Liminal

New moon note.

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The liminal space is an extraordinarily designed architectural facet of the soul. The space in between letting something go and the revelation of something new. As I have been learning to locate myself in this one facet, it’s been hard to see the destined beauty of the whole. The invitation to surrender to this divine structure is uncomfortable. To trust. To listen, to sense, to respond to what the emptiness brings forth from within me. To finally meet a deeper truth about who I am.

Are you ready to cross the liminal threshold? (talking to myself here :-) )

Have you experienced one of these liminal spaces in your life’s journey? What was that like for you?

I’d love to hear in the comments below. If you’ve received this via email, click on the link to take you to the blog to share your comment.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

Hidden

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I’ve missed connecting with you here over the past couple weeks.

During the past few weeks and 7 months since I’ve been writing, I’ve been slowing down, listening to what it is that I need. Moment to moment. Day by day. Meeting my needs with a greater sense of self-love and respect.

I’m learning that it takes a whole lot of fucking courage to share our most vulnerable needs and it starts with knowing what those needs are.

I invite you to contemplate what needs you might be hiding?

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

Grace

This note is for my mom.

So you can see that I’m taking care of myself. My heart. My Soul.

It’s not easy for you, I know.

To let go and be the witness to what I’m going through, especially the days when I need to be alone.

This is the dance with grief.

This is my dance with the chaos and nature of change.

I know it’s hard to understand me sometimes and that’s okay.

Your heart knows my heart. A mom’s loving heart always does.

I feel so much shame and intense emotions some days,

that the place that didn’t feel safe or good for a long time, my body, has become a sanctuary for compassion + healing during the past 6 months.

On many of those days that I’m not talking very much, this is how I’m taking care of myself.

I put on some music and feel into my body where the sensation is.

I move with it.

I breathe with it.

I often sing to it.

The tears and cries begin to flow

and I give it all to the Grace of God.

Your little girl is strong but her strength no longer comes from pretending she is.

This is a very vulnerable place for me to be.

You created a beautiful gift Ma.

I am learning to accept that precious gift you birthed into the world, ME.

I’m going to be okay.

Thank you. I love you.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

Renewal

Renewal

Serpent rising

through the coils of my being.

Swallow the wholeness of this moment.

Delve your ancient existence

into the spiraling mystery of my body.

Surrendered to your directions,

the nakedness of my love sways.

Burrowed in the abyss,

shedding hardened, familiar skin.

Renewing sensitivities long withheld.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

Snake - Animal Spirit Deck by Kim Krans

Snake - Animal Spirit Deck by Kim Krans

Awaken Compassion

“I yearn to be held

In the great hands of your heart —

Oh let them take me now.

Into them I place these fragments, my life….”

— Rilke

The heartache of a broken heart.

Sharp.

Shallow, breath-holding.

Pain.

Underneath the fold of my left breast.

I breathe.

I let my broken heart know,

I care about your heartache.

I feel a space open up in my belly.

My breath deepening.

I ask my heart, “What would being caring with you look like right now?”

Be tender and present with me, it replies. A bath in candlelight would feel caring.

It can often be challenging to offer ourselves compassion.

We can spend a ton of energy minimizing our suffering, avoiding it, numbing it, over-complicating it, when the beauty is that when we care about our suffering - it becomes the gateway to radical acceptance + awakening Compassion.

When you find yourself challenged this week, asked yourself,

What would being caring with myself look like right now?

It may surprise you.

Share answers and experiences that come forward for you in the comments on the website.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

Without Wheels

‘Roam if you want to

Without wings,

without wheels.

Roam if you want to

Without anything

but the love we feel.’

From the song “Roam” by The B-52’s

This week a friend reflected to me, “Where might your thinking be rigid, Billy?

How could I possibly get anywhere when it feels like my wings have been clipped.

Without the wheels that have been the foundation of how I knew to move through the world.

I needed this reminder to shift my perspective back to the Love that is ever-present when I am in the Divine Unknowing.

I am free to roam.

Without anything

but the Love I feel.

It’s okay not to know where you’re going or what you’re doing.

To be willing to wander in the wilderness of life’s moments.

Allowing yourself to roam around without anything but the love you feel.

Where might you be rigid in your thinking with something going on in your life?

Consider inspiring yourself to be a little more flexible in your thinking and ease yourself into the Divine Unknowing by dancing to the B52’s like I did!

Let me know how it feels in the comments below.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

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A Heart Open

“Inclusiveness is the natural state of the heart.” - Danielle LaPorte

I am learning how it feels to surrender to the expansive, inclusive nature of my Heart.

What appears as the pain of a broken heart, the sorrow of a longing or unmet desire, that space, is a new range of openness.

An opportunity for acceptance, inclusiveness.

Of what is.

For when we only allow space in our hearts for a select few feelings, sensations, frequencies, emotions, or aspects of ourselves and others - this selectivity limits range in all directions of the fullness of our being, of the range of our aliveness, loving and presence.

True resilience is not about bypassing, numbing, suppressing or selecting.

It’s about adaptation.

In order to adapt to what is with integrity, it’s helpful to start with bringing greater awareness to when our heart is open, closed or in a range in between.

What would it feel like to expand the range of your Heart? To have your Heart open to a new dimension of inclusiveness? How does that change your experience?

I’d love to hear your answers and thoughts in the comments below!

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

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1008 Gratitudes

These days my mind has been in it’s life preserving negative bias in relationship to fear.

And so I’ve decided to meet it’s chatter with 1008 things I’m grateful for.

I’m at 108.

Feeling grateful to be sharing this process with you.

What are you grateful for?

I’d love to hear in the comments below.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

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Attune

Attune : To bring into harmony ; To make aware or responsive

How did I learn to love my body? a coaching client of mine asks, in an email the other day.

It happened in her subtle body of attunement so she couldn’t recall ‘how’ she did it.

Harmonizing. Bring awareness to. Responding.

To the brooding desire to see herself, her body, to be with life, with the inner direction of the Light of Love that informs her natural way of being.

Not exactly the answer her ego wanted to hear from me.

Which brings me to the daisy as metaphor for reflection.

The daisy is a flower among the family of Sunflowers. Beyond my childhood memories of ‘He Loves me, He Loves me nots,’ it is one of many flowers that turn their blossoms towards the sun. A heliotropic process thought to be passive by the Ancient Greeks and even later by Aristotle himself. We now know that this is indeed an active process, phototropism and that there’s inner attunement happening inside the plant.

Today I contemplate this inner desire to bring into harmony, to make aware and respond to the Light in my life with the face of Love that is my true nature.

I know that it is silent.

And in the silence is where I feel the magnificence of this desire,

gently attuning me towards her Light.

Attunement isn’t a series of actions that receives achievement accolades in our current society as it is and is often overlooked by even ourselves. It is silent + yet magnificent. It’s a mechanism of living that, for now, appears mostly invisible, although there are studies to support this, they are not mainstream and science is due to catch up soon as it did with plants and phototropism.

Perhaps embodying this wisdom, as with the daisy, begins with a willingness to be curious and humble with regards to that which we cannot see with our human eyes.

What does Jeffery Eugenides’ quote on daisies ATTUNE you to?

I’d love to know in the comments below.

With Deep Love + Reverence,

Billy

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